For those of you who don't know me (or haven't seen me in awhile), I'm what we pleasantly refer to as "plus sized". In the vernacular, this means that, while I can tie my shoes and fit behind the wheel of a car, I'd be better off if I weighed just a bit less.
This, for obvious reasons, not the least of which are that I'm single, 34, and would like to, someday, perhaps, join a gift registry with someone other than The Invisible Man (which happened a couple years back at Marshall Fields when my parents couldn't figure out what to get me for Christmas.)
In any case, this extra poundage issue is not a new one for me. I've gained and lost enough weight in my adult life to be an expert at all things weight related. Want to know the serving size for a lean piece of protein? Come to my kitchen. Expect there to be chips around? Go somewhere else.
You see, over time, I've learned how to be incredibly active (well, occasionally active) by running, biking, doing triathlons, etc. But I've not put together the food AND exercise for a couple of years now.
Hence, The Biggest Loser Open Casting Call.
Yes, you read that correctly. Last Saturday, I gussied myself up, threw on my most adorable jeans, jacket and sparkly tee shirt (really, it was quite cute) and headed down to the NBC Tower with a ViP Pass (which allowed me to skip in front of the other 11,000 (yes, THOUSAND) people in line.
I was struck by two things at the casting call: first, I looked WAY better than anyone else in my group - or, for that matter, anyone I saw in line. Period. Not to be braggy about it, but my hair looked golden, my makeup was perfection, and at least I showered before showing up! (Which could not necessarily be said for my competitors).
Alas, no callback.
So I'm moving into the next phase: The Personal Video. Right now, I'm struggling with the screenplay. What will sell? Clearly, my "I'm fat BUT active" shtick didn't make it. 12 half marathons? Who cares! Licensed attorney? Who cares! Funny? Well, come to think of it, maybe funny didn't come through enough.
So I'm putting pen to paper and trying to give it a go...right now, I'm struggling between leading a revolt at Weight Watchers and fighting someone over the last batch of chocolate chips at the Jewel. Both of which have sort of happened at one time or another.
I'm kidding, really. What I'd like to do is create a tape that captures who I am. I promise to post the video when I'm finished. But for now, if you have any ideas, send them my way!
I'm also accepting recommendations for the background/theme music that should be playing in the background....so send it along!!!
Showing posts with label Biggest Loser. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Biggest Loser. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Losing Cindy Crawford
Weightwatchers Online sometimes provides entertainment I could not dream of. Today, it was Losing Kelly Rippa.
For those not familiar with Weightwatchers Online, it's a website with insprirational articles, manageable weight loss activities, recipe exchanges, and tools (i.e. places to write down how much you are (or are not) doing). There are also black holes of time and space known as The Message Boards.
The Message Boards come in many varieties. Are you a slacker who needs other people to hold you accountable to a fitness goal? Go to Fitness Challenge. Getting hitched and need to fit into that skinny dress? Go to The Bridal Party to see what the other desperados are doing to shed the weight. Got 50 pounds to lose? Visit the 50+ Pounds to Lose Board. Got 100+ Pounds to Lose and think you were just caught on one of those news program B rolls of fat people walking in the street? Commiserate at the 100+ Pounds to Lose Board.
As much as it pains me to admit it, I'm in the category of weight where, in fact, I do have 100+ pounds to lose. And as much as I'd also like to take advantage of that Lap Band surgery that all those fat people keep talking about (they're like a hit squad on daytime TV!!! I swear they're on every five minutes, along with the Snuggie and ShamWOW people..), anyway, as much as I'd like to take the easy way out, I'm not.
I am going to do this the old fashioned way - improve my diet and exercise more.
But that doesn't mean I can't have some fun.
Like all message boards, you have to pick a screen name in order to post something. I'm a sharer (shocking!) so I have one (Salligator, if you must know, and yes, I know it's completely lame). But today, I saw the best.screenname.ever.
Literally, this woman had named herself: LosingKellyRippa.
Because, you know, Kelly only weighs about 90 pounds. So this woman, bless her heart, put it out there. She's losing Kelly Rippa. Now how's THAT for a visual???
And, I gotta tell you, my new goal: Losing Cindy Crawford. WOW. That really makes you want to hit the gym, right? After contemplating the frightening reality that I am carrying an extra adult human being around (albeit a slightly skinny one) I slotted in that Biggest Loser DVD for the first time tonight. Nothing like a little extra human on your back to get you sweating.
And speaking of sweating....
Let me just share that I started the "warmup" - a 5 minute thingy - with the front window open about an inch.
Immediately after the warmup, I dashed through the dining room to open it up another inch.
Two minutes later and I was seeking serious cross ventilation. Plus the kitchen was closer - window open - AND LUNGE, two and three and four!
One set of lunges and a sweaty set of downward dogs later, and I was back in the dining room, had jacked the front window open a full TWELVE inches (did I mention it's 10 degrees with the windchill here?) as the sweat dripped off my brow and I began to second guess the effectiveness of my deodorant.
Once the place was sufficiently ventilated, I realized I could get through this. It's actually a pretty short workout (you add to it once you get through two weeks) but it was worth it. I got through the first Jillian Ass Kicking (JAK as we're calling it) and no emergency medical assistance was required. (Thank God because I would have had to write the Dove people and explain to them that they were directly responsible for my offending the Hot EMT when said Dove Deodorant failed. But again, another story.)
So here I stand. Five years ago, I completed an Olympic distance triathlon. And I struggled, but I trained and I did it. Now, I'm really, truly starting over. And when I do Lose Cindy Crawford, well, that will be worth every single ounce of effort.
Hm. Why is it so cold in here?
For those not familiar with Weightwatchers Online, it's a website with insprirational articles, manageable weight loss activities, recipe exchanges, and tools (i.e. places to write down how much you are (or are not) doing). There are also black holes of time and space known as The Message Boards.
The Message Boards come in many varieties. Are you a slacker who needs other people to hold you accountable to a fitness goal? Go to Fitness Challenge. Getting hitched and need to fit into that skinny dress? Go to The Bridal Party to see what the other desperados are doing to shed the weight. Got 50 pounds to lose? Visit the 50+ Pounds to Lose Board. Got 100+ Pounds to Lose and think you were just caught on one of those news program B rolls of fat people walking in the street? Commiserate at the 100+ Pounds to Lose Board.
As much as it pains me to admit it, I'm in the category of weight where, in fact, I do have 100+ pounds to lose. And as much as I'd also like to take advantage of that Lap Band surgery that all those fat people keep talking about (they're like a hit squad on daytime TV!!! I swear they're on every five minutes, along with the Snuggie and ShamWOW people..), anyway, as much as I'd like to take the easy way out, I'm not.
I am going to do this the old fashioned way - improve my diet and exercise more.
But that doesn't mean I can't have some fun.
Like all message boards, you have to pick a screen name in order to post something. I'm a sharer (shocking!) so I have one (Salligator, if you must know, and yes, I know it's completely lame). But today, I saw the best.screenname.ever.
Literally, this woman had named herself: LosingKellyRippa.
Because, you know, Kelly only weighs about 90 pounds. So this woman, bless her heart, put it out there. She's losing Kelly Rippa. Now how's THAT for a visual???
And, I gotta tell you, my new goal: Losing Cindy Crawford. WOW. That really makes you want to hit the gym, right? After contemplating the frightening reality that I am carrying an extra adult human being around (albeit a slightly skinny one) I slotted in that Biggest Loser DVD for the first time tonight. Nothing like a little extra human on your back to get you sweating.
And speaking of sweating....
Let me just share that I started the "warmup" - a 5 minute thingy - with the front window open about an inch.
Immediately after the warmup, I dashed through the dining room to open it up another inch.
Two minutes later and I was seeking serious cross ventilation. Plus the kitchen was closer - window open - AND LUNGE, two and three and four!
One set of lunges and a sweaty set of downward dogs later, and I was back in the dining room, had jacked the front window open a full TWELVE inches (did I mention it's 10 degrees with the windchill here?) as the sweat dripped off my brow and I began to second guess the effectiveness of my deodorant.
Once the place was sufficiently ventilated, I realized I could get through this. It's actually a pretty short workout (you add to it once you get through two weeks) but it was worth it. I got through the first Jillian Ass Kicking (JAK as we're calling it) and no emergency medical assistance was required. (Thank God because I would have had to write the Dove people and explain to them that they were directly responsible for my offending the Hot EMT when said Dove Deodorant failed. But again, another story.)
So here I stand. Five years ago, I completed an Olympic distance triathlon. And I struggled, but I trained and I did it. Now, I'm really, truly starting over. And when I do Lose Cindy Crawford, well, that will be worth every single ounce of effort.
Hm. Why is it so cold in here?
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