No, Really, It's NOT About Me!

Anyone who's grown up and wandered into the great outside world knows that there are a LOT of people who can scare you out there.

A few years back, I had the misfortune to date one of them. Sort of. He wasn't scary in the "get me a restraining order" sense - but other ways. Big ego. Total lack of accountability. Smart enough to get away with things, but not forever.

Recently, I worked for someone who exhibited some of the same tendencies. Notoriously, and unapologetically, late to every important meeting (because they were, say, getting their hair done); the need to be constantly complemented "no really, YOU'RE the best dresser ever!" (as I noted that really, she needed three more inches on those pants to compensate for the shelf on the backside).

And I think, over time, I've learned how to deal with these folks.

RUN. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

No, it's not quite that bad, but almost. Generally speaking, I refer to them as narcissists. When Psycho Boy was really done messing with my head, I spent some quality time at the local Borders, going through the American Psychological Association's DSM-IV (which lists out all the ways in which one can be certified crazy). And I found, frighteningly, that he met most of the criteria. Since then, I've been on the lookout for other dudes who fit that criteria, and I do run (well, you know me, waddle) when I see them coming.

So imagine my surprise today when I saw this article on Slate talking about whether the narcissists are to blame for the current state of Wall Street (and, frankly, Main Street). The point made is that many people claim we all became Mini-Psycho Boys (of the material variety) in the past few years, buying up everything we could, centering the world around our consumerism, etc. etc.

I'll spare you the long read, and tell you the conclusion, however, which made me feel better. We're NOT all narcissists. To really be one of those, you'd need a striking lack of empathy; a desire to make yourself much more important than you really are; and a belief that normal rules just don't apply to you.

(And I know what you're thinking - my driving DOES NOT make me a narcissist, really).

So see, don't you feel better? This economy, it's not all your fault! It's not all my fault! At least, not because you have a diagnosable pschological disorder. Now your credit card debt, that's another story :)

Big Plans. Huge. Massive.

I love making plans. Plans are kind of like the stars for me - they look amazing from far away, I can spend hours gazing at them, and yet, while I appreciate them very much, I don't really have to DO anything about them.

Unless I get into a star-corralling mode, and then all bets are off.

These days, I find myself in just such a mode, as my ass has recently expanded to galactic-like proportions. I saw my GP this week, and while she is lovely, kind, and really glad my numbers are all good (impossible, I know, but true), she basically told me to stick to the spring/summer workout plan I had devised, and all would be better come fall.

So, to help, I've put together a summer race calendar that looks like a Midwest Tour of Champions.

In June, I will head to DC to see my old friend Kim from law school. I know, most of you don't hear me talk about law school friends often - and that's because there are few I keep in touch with. Kim is an exception. As she said the other day on Facebook, she's probably the only lawyer in DC who can rope a steer, operate a combine, and file a brief (or something like that). She bakes cookies like I do, and we're doing the Lawyers Have Heart 10k as a goal for both of us. I'm excited - both for the chance to see DC, as much as to hang with Kim for a few days. Plus, I haven't trained for a 10k in years, and it sounds SO much better than a 1/2 marathon!

In early July, I will head to Minneapolis for the Lifetime Fitness Triathlon. I'm going with my friend Val, and we'll be visiting her brother, and my friends Jen and Sarah, and their two lovely kids. A couple of years ago, Jen, Sarah, and Jen's sister Becky and me did the race. I remember two things: first, there were some gear changing issues when we left transition (um, I think actually I had to teach another unnamed participant how to use her gears :)); and second, it was a really, really pretty course. I'm looking forward to getting Val on the Tri bandwagon, and to doing this course like I mean it.

In late July, it's party time, as I head to Cincinnati to compete in the Cincy Tri with my family. We are a growing group - but at least five of us are committing to doing the race, either solo or as part of a relay team. At the end, we're hoping to be down some pounds, up some fitness, and holding many, many beers. To motivate us further, I'm considering what we should put on our shirts. "Stiens for Steins" might work, but we now include many other surnames. What about "Where's the Beer?" Or perhaps "IF I JUST PASSED YOU, WOOOO HOOOOOO!"

Finally, there's a late August race (either the Chicago Olympic or the Pleasant Prairie Olympic) which will be the highlight of my season. In 2003, I trained myself into the ground for the Olympic Triathlon. It was hard, and I loved every minute of it. I cannot WAIT to do this race, and to be fit enough to do it well.

So that's the goal. Finish these races, have a fun summer...oh, and be fully employed while I'm doing it!

With the cast of characters I've got coming along, I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice about being ready. I love it when a plan comes together!