Now Casting

For those of you who don't know me (or haven't seen me in awhile), I'm what we pleasantly refer to as "plus sized". In the vernacular, this means that, while I can tie my shoes and fit behind the wheel of a car, I'd be better off if I weighed just a bit less.

This, for obvious reasons, not the least of which are that I'm single, 34, and would like to, someday, perhaps, join a gift registry with someone other than The Invisible Man (which happened a couple years back at Marshall Fields when my parents couldn't figure out what to get me for Christmas.)

In any case, this extra poundage issue is not a new one for me. I've gained and lost enough weight in my adult life to be an expert at all things weight related. Want to know the serving size for a lean piece of protein? Come to my kitchen. Expect there to be chips around? Go somewhere else.

You see, over time, I've learned how to be incredibly active (well, occasionally active) by running, biking, doing triathlons, etc. But I've not put together the food AND exercise for a couple of years now.

Hence, The Biggest Loser Open Casting Call.

Yes, you read that correctly. Last Saturday, I gussied myself up, threw on my most adorable jeans, jacket and sparkly tee shirt (really, it was quite cute) and headed down to the NBC Tower with a ViP Pass (which allowed me to skip in front of the other 11,000 (yes, THOUSAND) people in line.

I was struck by two things at the casting call: first, I looked WAY better than anyone else in my group - or, for that matter, anyone I saw in line. Period. Not to be braggy about it, but my hair looked golden, my makeup was perfection, and at least I showered before showing up! (Which could not necessarily be said for my competitors).

Alas, no callback.

So I'm moving into the next phase: The Personal Video. Right now, I'm struggling with the screenplay. What will sell? Clearly, my "I'm fat BUT active" shtick didn't make it. 12 half marathons? Who cares! Licensed attorney? Who cares! Funny? Well, come to think of it, maybe funny didn't come through enough.

So I'm putting pen to paper and trying to give it a go...right now, I'm struggling between leading a revolt at Weight Watchers and fighting someone over the last batch of chocolate chips at the Jewel. Both of which have sort of happened at one time or another.

I'm kidding, really. What I'd like to do is create a tape that captures who I am. I promise to post the video when I'm finished. But for now, if you have any ideas, send them my way!

I'm also accepting recommendations for the background/theme music that should be playing in the background....so send it along!!!