No, Really, It's NOT About Me!

Anyone who's grown up and wandered into the great outside world knows that there are a LOT of people who can scare you out there.

A few years back, I had the misfortune to date one of them. Sort of. He wasn't scary in the "get me a restraining order" sense - but other ways. Big ego. Total lack of accountability. Smart enough to get away with things, but not forever.

Recently, I worked for someone who exhibited some of the same tendencies. Notoriously, and unapologetically, late to every important meeting (because they were, say, getting their hair done); the need to be constantly complemented "no really, YOU'RE the best dresser ever!" (as I noted that really, she needed three more inches on those pants to compensate for the shelf on the backside).

And I think, over time, I've learned how to deal with these folks.

RUN. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

No, it's not quite that bad, but almost. Generally speaking, I refer to them as narcissists. When Psycho Boy was really done messing with my head, I spent some quality time at the local Borders, going through the American Psychological Association's DSM-IV (which lists out all the ways in which one can be certified crazy). And I found, frighteningly, that he met most of the criteria. Since then, I've been on the lookout for other dudes who fit that criteria, and I do run (well, you know me, waddle) when I see them coming.

So imagine my surprise today when I saw this article on Slate talking about whether the narcissists are to blame for the current state of Wall Street (and, frankly, Main Street). The point made is that many people claim we all became Mini-Psycho Boys (of the material variety) in the past few years, buying up everything we could, centering the world around our consumerism, etc. etc.

I'll spare you the long read, and tell you the conclusion, however, which made me feel better. We're NOT all narcissists. To really be one of those, you'd need a striking lack of empathy; a desire to make yourself much more important than you really are; and a belief that normal rules just don't apply to you.

(And I know what you're thinking - my driving DOES NOT make me a narcissist, really).

So see, don't you feel better? This economy, it's not all your fault! It's not all my fault! At least, not because you have a diagnosable pschological disorder. Now your credit card debt, that's another story :)